Certified Crashout Pre-Order
Meet the shirt that says what your resume can’t: “Certified Crashout.”
This piece blends heavyweight quality with heavyweight attitude. The design features a halftone chimp in sunglasses, buried in monkey business and clearly one bad email away from losing it all — just like you.
Crafted from 100% combed cotton (because you deserve soft fabric while society collapses), this tee is pre-shrunk, side-seamed, and built to last longer than your last job. It’s a clean canvas with a dirty message — perfect for streetwear, casual chaos, or that unhinged boardroom vibe.
Whether you're making a statement or just spiraling with style, this shirt's got your back. Literally.
Meet the shirt that says what your resume can’t: “Certified Crashout.”
This piece blends heavyweight quality with heavyweight attitude. The design features a halftone chimp in sunglasses, buried in monkey business and clearly one bad email away from losing it all — just like you.
Crafted from 100% combed cotton (because you deserve soft fabric while society collapses), this tee is pre-shrunk, side-seamed, and built to last longer than your last job. It’s a clean canvas with a dirty message — perfect for streetwear, casual chaos, or that unhinged boardroom vibe.
Whether you're making a statement or just spiraling with style, this shirt's got your back. Literally.
Meet the shirt that says what your resume can’t: “Certified Crashout.”
This piece blends heavyweight quality with heavyweight attitude. The design features a halftone chimp in sunglasses, buried in monkey business and clearly one bad email away from losing it all — just like you.
Crafted from 100% combed cotton (because you deserve soft fabric while society collapses), this tee is pre-shrunk, side-seamed, and built to last longer than your last job. It’s a clean canvas with a dirty message — perfect for streetwear, casual chaos, or that unhinged boardroom vibe.
Whether you're making a statement or just spiraling with style, this shirt's got your back. Literally.
Pre-Order Now! Shipping estimated for end of May.